Forever Love

Time is but
an assessment of truth.
The tick of the clock
mimics
the beat of my heart
and yet I watch my truth stand still.
I am no horologist…
I only feel the inescapable effects of passing moments
and the reality that leaves it’s footprints to find.
Out of control,
but not complacent,
I await the colors of the sunrise
in eager anticipation…
to see if the hues are the same again this morning
are the same again this evening,
are still true,
exquisitely exploding across the incredible expanse of my heart.
And I wonder wholeheartedly if they will ever change.
Perhaps not.
And so will stand the test of time
and heart’s assessment of truth.

Dreams

Dreams have a way...
They have a way
when you are at your most defenseless, collapsed in silent slumber
of stripping away all fallacies and masks, leaving only the raw and true
and nothing you can do about it.

Sure there are those dreams here and there that come out of left field,
those nights your brain kind of empties out all the trash
it didn’t know what to do with
and you wake up wondering if you have a mental issue you should see someone about.

Or there are the dreams that could have happened during the day,
going through the normal routines
talking to the normal people
about this and that
and you wake up wondering if you even fell asleep in the first place.

But I’m talking about a different kind of dream.
The ones that call you out,
that speak truth you may or may not want to hear.
The dreams where while you’re in them, everything is right
real,
true…
because it is.
And with the realization of waking up
you lay in bed letting that reality soak in,
forced to admit the authenticity that just uncovered itself
while you were vulnerably unconscious.

Why

The curiosities are overwhelming;
Forbidden but present,
like faint morning mist
felt when you breathe…
but it’s grasp is unattainable.
The questions are pointless
but the heart knows no boundary
of society and regulation.
I distract myself
and push the pull away
that returns every day.
The questions that surface
in my stomach as a knot
in my chest as a fist,
clenching the very strength of me.
The thoughts come and go
with the feelings always there:
a bittersweet remembrance
of a love so rare.

I turn and look the other way.
A process
I am all too familiar with…
I reach
with my hand in my pocket
then turn
and move a small but necessary step.
I wonder how much is evident.
My truth tends to wear itself on my sleeve.
Your voice.
Your words.
Simply
the excitement and ease of you.
A forbidden memory
but a genuine smile,
a deep word,
a racing heart.

Movement

You move
farther away.
I feel it deeply.
This ripple of rhythm
touches and
brushes over me,
sparks
and disappears.
Only for a moment.
Inspiring me to follow
not you but suit
to move myself.
Slow and inconsistent
but realistically renovating.
Only for a moment.
But a moment nonetheless.
I reach
with my hand in my pocket
then turn
and move a small but necessary step.
It burns
and I close my eyes.
A temporary solution.
It is a movement.
It is real.
But only for a moment.

On the Horizon

Here it is
in front of me:
The future.
Unplanned.
Unknown.
Just me.
Tables turned,
my heart now voluntarily vulnerable.
It is an anxious exhilaration…
Like the suspense of the hinting sun
moments before breaking on the horizon
ready to explode,
to burst with energy.
And so with bated breath
I feel this unexplainable elation;
The adrenaline of knowing
that the future will be everything
and yet I know nothing.
But here I am.
Ready.

Raw

It is then that I am most me.
The raw realism of life.
Gyration of my hips moving from the depths.
The overwhelming
authentic reality that closes my eyes
and makes me feel truth
deep down into
and
within
my
core.
The pounding pulsation of the rhythm
that takes my breath away
as the music and wine both numb and magnify
within my veins,
under my skin.
My heart hammering within me.
The carnal confession of me.
All excess cut away.
And I realize...
It is you.

Competition

Tell me I won’t
and I’ll fight to win.
Say its unbeatable,
I’ll kill any sin.
Call it impossible,
I’ll fight hard and long.
Tell me I can’t and
I’ll prove that you’re wrong.

But tell me you love me
and it’s a different tune.
I want you to fight
and jump over the moon.

I don’t want to prove
that I’m better for you
or compete for attention
with other girls who
vie for your affection
and suggest rendezvous.

Genuinely choose me…
True hearts desired gaining.
Prove loyalty with action
and not just sweet sayings.

Because I will fight
for your love and your heart
but my trust is weary
and needs proof from the start
that you are serious about me
and have both feet in…
That you won’t look for outs
or other ways to begin.

I’m strong on my own
but I’d love your support.
I’ll be there for you…
I’m not the wandering sort.

I want to be chosen
like anyone would
and I have no doubt
that many could…
Because I’ve been told
that I am the one...
but I haven’t committed,
I’ve only run.

But I feel that you’re different
and I want your word…
I want your commitment…
So soon seems absurd!
But it’s true and it’s real
and scary though it may be,
I want you to choose
and I want it to be me.

Choose with your actions.
Choose when I’m there.
Choose with the way you talk.
Choose with the way you care.
Choose in front of them.
Choose by priority.
Choose with your whole heart.
Baby… please choose me.