An untraditional but urgent haiku

Fuck.
Anytime I check my phone,
even though I know you won't,
I still hope to see your name.

Irrepressible Intoxication

How you intoxicate me!
Passion like
the sunrise
sweeping across the sky
and I am caught up in you.
Beautifully unmatched
without limitations or regulation.
Irrepressible intoxication.
Forbidden desires burst
in full color
illuminating truth.
I watch in envy as the sun spreads,
soaring and stretching,
indulging it’s aching need
to be set free.
Your name is on my lips.
You smile in my heart.
Passion
completely content
if only
for this moment.

Run

I want to run…
my heart pounding in my head.
Dominating all else.
Am I alone in this?
Am I the only one
bursting with passion
aching to be set free?
Without restriction.
Without judgment.
I want to run like my heart is the only thing
able to make me fall
and yet
keeping me from falling…
The critical muscle motivating.
I want to feel the adrenalin rush
of running straight for the edge
jumping with full force
falling at full speed
and those moments in the air
released where
there is contentment
excitement
passion…
and I surrender
and I am set free.

Forever Love

Time is but
an assessment of truth.
The tick of the clock
mimics
the beat of my heart
and yet I watch my truth stand still.
I am no horologist…
I only feel the inescapable effects of passing moments
and the reality that leaves it’s footprints to find.
Out of control,
but not complacent,
I await the colors of the sunrise
in eager anticipation…
to see if the hues are the same again this morning
are the same again this evening,
are still true,
exquisitely exploding across the incredible expanse of my heart.
And I wonder wholeheartedly if they will ever change.
Perhaps not.
And so will stand the test of time
and heart’s assessment of truth.

Dreams

Dreams have a way...
They have a way
when you are at your most defenseless, collapsed in silent slumber
of stripping away all fallacies and masks, leaving only the raw and true
and nothing you can do about it.

Sure there are those dreams here and there that come out of left field,
those nights your brain kind of empties out all the trash
it didn’t know what to do with
and you wake up wondering if you have a mental issue you should see someone about.

Or there are the dreams that could have happened during the day,
going through the normal routines
talking to the normal people
about this and that
and you wake up wondering if you even fell asleep in the first place.

But I’m talking about a different kind of dream.
The ones that call you out,
that speak truth you may or may not want to hear.
The dreams where while you’re in them, everything is right
real,
true…
because it is.
And with the realization of waking up
you lay in bed letting that reality soak in,
forced to admit the authenticity that just uncovered itself
while you were vulnerably unconscious.

Why

The curiosities are overwhelming;
Forbidden but present,
like faint morning mist
felt when you breathe…
but it’s grasp is unattainable.
The questions are pointless
but the heart knows no boundary
of society and regulation.
I distract myself
and push the pull away
that returns every day.
The questions that surface
in my stomach as a knot
in my chest as a fist,
clenching the very strength of me.
The thoughts come and go
with the feelings always there:
a bittersweet remembrance
of a love so rare.

I turn and look the other way.
A process
I am all too familiar with…
I reach
with my hand in my pocket
then turn
and move a small but necessary step.
I wonder how much is evident.
My truth tends to wear itself on my sleeve.
Your voice.
Your words.
Simply
the excitement and ease of you.
A forbidden memory
but a genuine smile,
a deep word,
a racing heart.

Movement

You move
farther away.
I feel it deeply.
This ripple of rhythm
touches and
brushes over me,
sparks
and disappears.
Only for a moment.
Inspiring me to follow
not you but suit
to move myself.
Slow and inconsistent
but realistically renovating.
Only for a moment.
But a moment nonetheless.
I reach
with my hand in my pocket
then turn
and move a small but necessary step.
It burns
and I close my eyes.
A temporary solution.
It is a movement.
It is real.
But only for a moment.